Honesty IS the best policy

 How did we get so lucky? I don't say this to rub it in. I don't want to seem braggy and say, "Oh, I have the easiest and best marriage in the world." We have our moments, he annoys me sometimes. Actually that f-ugly green sweater he wears that makes him look homeless, he finally trashed. So....annoyances will be few and far between. But really, we know how fortunate we really are and when we talk about it, we realize it comes down to one thing, honesty. Where we started from in our relationship is because of where we came from. We both ran into each, completely broken humans. I had lost my husband, he had left an abusive marriage and our hopes and dreams of what we had imagined our lives to be had been shit on, seriously.  It's how it felt that night in October when he stood up from his table he was sitting at with friends and walked straight up to me. In a bar full of high school friends, none really knowing what to say to me because 5 months earlier I had been widowed. We were both in our late 20's and lost. When he walked up to me and said, "Hey, how are you?" I responded with, "Pretty shitty, how are you?" (Honest moment #1) His response, "I left my wife today." (Honest moment #2) I think we may have laughed and high-fived. Laughing at the complete ridiculousness of the situation. Both feeling at the bottom of a well with no way out. Hey, I thought, at least I have someone down here with me.  

Our relationship began from the lowest of lows. By 28, we both felt as if we had lived an entire life. Our experiences were different but the damage felt so similar and our hopes were the same. Honesty was our basis for a relationship that feels more solid than anything we have ever experienced. We let one another feel feelings, we listen to one anther and we rely on one another (despite my need to prove independence once in a while.) Do we have bumps in the road? Of course, yet the bumps don't ever last long. One of our biggest arguments, which we to this day cannot remember what it was about, left him sleeping on the couch. When we talked the next day we realized we don't know how to argue with each other. We couldn't believe it had gotten to that point. Our past relationships, the good and the bad, the lessons we learned, the pain we came from, all prepared us for our relationship we have today. We are one anothers biggest supporters and believers. 

When it comes to marriage, giving the other the space and support they need to be happy is so important. This requires listening, observing and understanding. I am so thankful to have this man on my side.