As I sit here and type this, I can remember exactly what I was doing at this exact moment 8 years ago. I had been started on pitocin 27 hours previous and had been in active labor going on 18 hours. I was done. I was exhausted. I couldn't dilate past a 7. I just wanted this stubborn baby out. We didn't know what we were having. We decided to make our first pregnancy that much more exciting and not find out, to all of our family and friends dismay. I was sure it was a boy. Most everyone else was sure it was a girl. A boy, Bryce Jeffrey. A girl Ryann Moranda. By midnight on Mother's Day, I had officially had enough. When the nurse said I could possibly be dilated to a 9 and another nurse checked and confirmed I was still a 7, I was over it. The epidurals hadn't worked for me either so I was feeling it all. By 1am my heart rate jumped and the babies dropped and a c-section it was. I was in so much pain from the spinal, I told the anthologist I may just pass out. He said that was fine, I could. Um...no! I didn't know what we were having! When Bryce came screaming in to this world, I remember the Dr was shocked that we didn't know what it was. He held him up, covering the boy parts and then moved his hand. I remember Steven saying, "Its a boy!". I said, "I know!" (because I always had that feeling). We took a quick picture with him, I looked at his sweet smushed face and I passed out.
Best Mother's Day ever.
8 years later, this boy has challenged me in ways I never thought possible. He gives me so many firsts. In his first 3 years, he was his Daddys sidekick. He was always silly and always screaming, even just for fun. He's loud and loves to make anyone laugh. He will do anything for a laugh. He's gentle and soothing and sweet, other than to Jake. He and Jake have a love/hate relationship. They fight constantly, but are completely lost without each other. Bryce is smart. Things come to him easily. Its hard watching him not put effort in to things because he knows he can just do it and you know that if he put a little more effort in to it, he could be amazing, but he doesn't need to be amazing in his world, he already is and I love that about him.
Bryce has been a source of strength, forgiveness and understanding in this short life of his that has dealt him some major blows. He continues to move forward with an opinion, a voice and a light heart.
I love this kid beyond words. He made me a mom. He is a spitting image of his Dad, and he loves unconditionally. I look forward to the next 8 years with him, although the thought of him being 16 in 8 years scares the crap out of me. Taking it day by day with this kid. He blows my mind and I love every bit of it.
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